‎"W--where a-ahm I?"

It was dark. Dark and... silent? And why was his vocalizer glitching like that? He felt a vague pang of pain traveling through his lines, but it was distant, as if it had been there for ages, and he'd just gotten used to it.

That was weird, since he had certainly not gotten wounded lately. Then, where was the pain coming from? He lifted a hand, trying to reach for his neck, an instinctive reaction to feeling that his vocalizer was not working properly. But then, he froze.

He couldn't move his arm.

Now he was starting to grow frustrated. And maybe, just maybe, a little panicked.

In fact, he couldn't move /at all/. The frag was going on?! And why couldn't he see anything, either? The normal noises of his quarters -be it his brother's systems humming in recharge or the distant sounds of the base waking up at that time in the morning- were gone. Or maybe his audio-receptors were glitching as well?

All of a sudden, one of the lights was turned on, and he could only stare in shock at the two humans walking up to him. One had long things coming from its head -he was pretty sure that was one of their femmes- and the other one was slightly taller, and they were both looking at him with a mix of horror and... disgust?

He had this feeling creeping over him, deep into his spark, that he'd already gone through this before. He just couldn't quite put his finger around it. The human femme was talking, clearly more disgusted than the other one. And there were words coming from his own mouth, even though he couldn't remember trying to say them.

"K-k-kill meh.."

The male human looked caught between horror and glee. He was definitely amazed at seeing that he was talking. He had no idea why. He couldn't quite think about it, either. The pain was getting stronger, burning through his lines and by Primus, he couldn't even feel his own spark. And then the pain flared within him, and the image around him changed completely.

And now he wished he couldn't feel his spark the same way he had only a few seconds ago.

He was strapped down to what seemed to be a berth, humans all around him carrying some of their primitive tools, and some other that were clearly not as primitive. He felt his spark freezing as he realized just /where/ he was, a cold feeling of dread clawing at his spark right before he started to struggle against his bindings.

Not again! They had caught him again, Primus! He couldn't remember anything, he couldn't understand why, only that they were /there/ and they were moving closer, and he /knew/ just what was going to happen right now, just like what had happened the previous time he'd been caught.

Pain. Pain like no other he'd ever felt shot through him as the electric saws cut through his thick, polymer-steel skin, cut through his armor that he'd spent all his life-cycle taking so much care of. It had been for nothing. It was being ripped apart by them, /again/, and the pain was /unbearable/. They were everywhere. Cutting through his arms, his legs, ripping his shin-guards apart and... it was only the beginning.

He was screaming. Louder and more desperate than what he'd ever screamed before, until his vocalizer glitched, and then he didn't even stop. Primus... the first time had been horrible, the worst thing that could ever be done to anyone... but this time was even worse. Worse because he /knew/ what was to come, he /knew/ what they were going to do to him. It made everything just much more painful and terrifying.

He'd heard once that humans could die from extreme bouts of pain. That their organisms weren't made to tolerate it. He wished that the same could be said about Cybertronians. It wasn't possible, however, and he was stuck there, online and feeling as they cut through his skin, cut through his armor and then through his protoform, ripping the sensitive wires and lines that formed his highly advanced frame. The pain from his armor being cut through was /nothing/ compared to what it felt when they reached his internal structures, however. It burned him, froze him and cut right through him at the same time. And even that... was just mere caresses compared to the horror of feeling when they finally reached his spark-chamber.

He trashed and struggled even more then, but it was to no avail. He no longer had arms or legs to kick with. He could barely move as it was. He was left to only stare in horror and /dread/ at the humans as they lowered the saw over the thick metallic cover of his chest-plates, the plating that protected his spark and everything he was.

And then it was gone again. The pain a distant sensation once again. He still couldn't move. He still couldn't feel his spark. But now he knew just where he was. He knew he was nothing more than a piece of his former self, hanging from those wires that were keeping him alive. Sparkless, frameless, void of everything he'd once been. He wanted out. He wanted to die. He wanted his body and spark back, but he knew he wouldn't have them. And just then, Hunter walked in front of him. He wanted to scream, to yell at him to leave him alone, to get away, to just get out of his sight... but then he heard the words coming out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry."

And then he pulled the plug that was keeping him alive.

Sunstreaker jumped on his berth, spark racing on its chamber as his optics shot wide open, taking in the room around him. He instinctively crawled back on his berth until his back hit the wall, unable to quite shake the panic and dread off him. But then he heard it. And he could finally look past his horror to realize he was back in his quarters, the soft, humming sound of his brother's systems deep in recharge reaching his audio receptors. Still, that horrible, cold feeling remained deep within his spark, even though he now knew it had been nothing more than a nightmare.

Primus... it had been so long since he'd gotten his last nightmare. They were certainly not as common as they were before Alpha Trion fixed him, but he still had them from time to time. It had been weeks since his last one.... and even though they weren't as bad as they were before, they still were /horribly/ realistic. He could still feel the pain...

No. Primus, no. He wasn't going there again. He'd told himself he was going to move on, fraggit! He wasn't going to fall back into that hole he'd been laying all this time.

It was so hard, however... how was one supposed to forget what even your dreams wanted you to remember?